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Heart Speak and Kelompok Senja Hari

Making your voice heard.

On the 12th of May 2000 at Rumah Pak Vern, Kelompok Senja Hari which is simply an informal group of friends presented Ucapan Hati or Heart Speak. Ucapan Hati was a performance created by Nyoman Budiarta and Kelompok Senja Hari and directed by Kerensa Dewantoro. It was the outcome of a series of workshops that brought this group of artists hailing from different cultures and backgrounds together to realize the vision of Nyoman Budiarta a disabled painter and performer. He had a vision of a performance that would involve able-bodied performers to magnify his own story as a disabled Balinese. His aim was to make his story known to both able bodied Balinese and non Balinese as well as to encourage other disabled people to come forth with their own stories. The performance was aired on Bali TV on Monday 27th of May as a part of documentary on the life of Nyoman and his brothers two of whom are also disabled.)

The first workshop was with Kozana Lucca of the Roy Hart Theatre in France. She gave a vocal workshop and though it was only once it made each of us realize the seeds of potential in our own voice. For many in the group, it was the first time that we had worked with our voice. In the group, there was a young woman from Finland, Hanna Sofia Makela who had had a background in dance, choreography and contact improvisation. She offered to do a workshop and those there that evening immediately jumped on the idea. Also that evening, Nyoman Budiarta, began to talk for the first time about his idea for a performance. It was a performance that would require many able bodied performers. It was suggested that possibly after the contact improvisation workshop we could try elements of his idea and see if it worked. The performance included elements of both these workshops and was showcase of what can be achieved through a group trust and belief in an idea.

Nyoman comes from a small, poor but loving and supportive family. He lives with his mother, father and his three brothers Kadek who is the youngest in the family is only fifteen, able bodied and a tremendous support to his older brothers Nyoman Budiarta, Ketut Budiarna and Wayan Piadnyr who are living with brittle bone disease. The disease has left Nyoman with a stunted tiny body, an amazing movement vocabulary with his hands and an inability to walk. Fortunately due to his age his bones have stopped breaking and he dove right into the workshop process participating in all aspects which including group rolling, lifting and manipulation of others and himself through touch. He also expressed a courage and clarity of vision in his ideas and was prepared to improvise and work through the process assimilating others ideas that he liked yet holding true to his own vision. As an actor, he performed with a tremendous sensitivity and presence. The support of Nyoman’s family has been a key factor in his own artistic expression as a painter and performer. Unlike many disabled Balinese who are seen as burdens to their families and often left to sit in the family compound, Nyoman and his brothers with the assistance of his youngest brother and father get out and about. They advocate their rights to live a normal life and particpate in everyday activities such as going to temple ceremonies and fishing. They have beene encnouraged and supported in whatever activity hey do by their family without shame or embarrassment and this support was crucial was important in doing such strange activities on the Balinese landscape as contact improvisation, theatre and vocal workshops.

For Nyoman it was the first time that he has performed his own story although prior to meeting Kelompok Senja Hari he had been working with Eilat Tovi and his brothers in the trio. Few realize that Nyoman was already performing in leading roles at his school, Suta Dharma and participating in poetry readings prior to meeting Eilat or Kelompok Senja Hari. With the Suta Daharma he participated in the MAI Festival Teatre 2000 at Sai Sai Bar. Even fewer realized the tremendous potential that Nyoman has as a physical theatre performer and serious actor.

The performance began with an introduction sung by Nyoman’s brothers in English and Indonesia This is a story about dreams and walking. It could be my story, it could be yours. Tapi malam ini, itu cerita dari Nyoman, (But this evening, it is a story from Nyoman).

The cast laid on stage in darkness and in Balinese kidung technique - Putu Werdhiyana sang a song in Indonesian about the desire to walk and the feelings of killing oneself. Nyoman was rolled along the top of the other performers bodies until he reached the front of the stage as if he was passing through the womb and climbed onto his wheelchair that was lighted at the front of the stage. He wheeled backstage where he climbed back onto the ground and began to move forward on his bum. The other cast members began to walk, ignoring him as he tried to get their attention. He asked the audience why he was invisible , why he felt that he had no friends, (a direct reference to his own village where he has been ostracized and the fact that the help he does get comes from outsiders). The cast began to walk around him increasing in speed and in intensity until it was a mad deer run. He called out 'Stop' and they began to slowly collapse. He talked about his dreams of running far away from this place if he could, about the possibility of operations, (his brother Ketut had had an operation that took all the families money and left him even more disabled). The saddest part being that the Doctors when they realized they had made a mistake physically tried to avoid having contact with him whilst he was at the hospital and taking responsibility for mistake. He explained to the audience that he is normal too; he goes to school, paints, and helps people who just can’t walk. He talked about how he hated the patronizing comments of his village, 'How great it is that your feet don’t get tired when you go to a temple ceremony'. Eventually the idea occurs to him that maybe in the next life his situation would be different, that killing himself would be the answer. He runs through his options, his body physicalising his leaps of thoughts. Run in front of a truck but he can’t run and it would only make paper work for the police. He lifts up the bodies of his fellow performers in search of string. He finds one and looks at as if his dreams have been fulfilled. He could hang himself. He climbs up on one of the bodies of his fellow performers and realizes that he is scared of heights and scared of falling. The body collapse. At last he decide to use a knife but alas he has no knife.

A black Satan (SE Dewantoro) appears offering him a choice of two knives. The Satan representing thoughts in Nyoman's heads sympathizes with Nyoman, understanding Nyoman's desire to fly to the stars ( a theme that appears regularly in Nyoman's work). A white angel (Putu Werdhiyana) appears taken the knives and ruining Satan’s work explaining to him all the reason why he shouldn’t kill himself. The two angels always meet like this always trying to gain votes and end up in brawl leaving Nyoman utterly confused and exhausted. Finally he goes to sleeps. In his sleep he has a dream and flies to heaven which was danced beautifully with Hannah and Annukka depicting this journey into the dream world. Precarious elements of contact improvisation with Nyoman being raised and passed along Hannah back in standing position, lifts and spins. From heaven Nyoman can see the Earth and realizes that there are people better of than he is and people worse off than he is. He looks on as this strange array of people dance and angels with wings appear playing guitar and djembe.

He eventually is woken up by Yanik a senior artist of Ubud who was also disabled five years ago in a horrendous motorbike accident from which it was thought that he would never recover or walk again. He talks to Nyoman as an older brother asking him about why he would even dream of killing himself. Nyoman answers that he wanted to be reincarnated. Yanik explains that killing yourself is no guarantee of a good reincarnation that in fact it is not a good thing to do especially when so many people love him, 'Look at them, (the audience), their all here for you. In fact I am jealous of you, you have so many friends. There is Vern, Putu Suriani, all your friends in wheelchairs, Hannah and Annukka etc.' Nyoman ends by acknowledging that there are many good things in life and yelling to the audience that he loves life. The performance ended with him explaining his reasons for perform his story and the hope that other people with disabilities will become brave enough to tell theirs too and not feel alone or embarrassed.

His voice touched the hearts of many people in the audience. Many of the disabled audience members all commented that they too had all had thoughts of killing themselves. There was a large number of local Balinese villages who watched the performance attentively, an audience that isn’t normally interested in contemporary performance and many were amazed at what Nyoman could do, making the comment that they did not have that kind of energy. So slowly slowly, with hopefully more performances, Nyoman can reach a wider audience and change the way the people think, with his own story.

Performers: Nyoman Budiarta, Putu Werdhiyana, Hanna Sofia Makela, Annukka Kukka-Maaria Tolvonen, Haris ichwan, Unggul Baskoro, praponco Asto ( Prabto), Gepeng ( S E Dewantoro) , Ketut Budiarsa, Kadek Budiarna, Wayan Piadnyr, Gede, April Leila.

A special Note to anyone with Special skills attending Bali: The PUSKESMAS, (local healthcentre), at Tampaksiring, welcomes anyone with special skills such as phystiotherapy, early detection of disabilities, speech therapy, blindness and general areas of health that would be happy whilst on their holiday here to give a skill sharing workshop in this area for the staff. For more information contact Yantin Buys at yantin21@telkom.net.au Kelompok Senjahari is open to theatre practitioners who would like to give workshops here. For information contact Kerensa at kerensavan@hotmail.com.au or Yanik at borneo24@hotmail.com.au